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Before I had my first child in 1991,

I was blessed to read The Prophet by Gibran.

I was so moved by the chapter ‘On Children’

that it became the gold standard of my parenting. 

It continues to influence and inspire

the way I view and treat children

and how I see our roles as parents, step-parents, and grand-parents.

Here it is:

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,

Speak to us of Children. And he said:

     Your children are not your children.

     They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

     They come through you but not from you,

     And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

     You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

     For they have their own thoughts.

     You may house their bodies but not their souls,

     For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

     You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

     For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

     You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

     The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

     Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

     For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923)